If I Were

If I were to walk through
That Door … for me

If I were to look at
Those bonds … binding
And those bands … holding

I would shake
And … shriek … and … wail

Until Heaven itself
Cracked … and … broke
And fell on my head

Fell in sharp shards
On my head

Cut through all
The ropes of
Muscle knots
Holding me bound

If I were to feel
The fury of what
Was done to me
In love

Of how I was
Shoved forth
To sink or swim
On my own
With no care for how

I would
Shake & Shake & Shake
Until I did fly
Apart
And land on the floor
Never to get up
No more

– jml (1999)